Wednesday, April 1, 2020

Georgia Tech cancels selected fall football games, including UGA

In an abundance of caution, the Georgia Tech 2020-21 fall football schedule will be scaled back to just three games instead of the originally scheduled twelve.


This announcement was made today on Twitter by the Institute’s Director of Athletics, Todd Stansbury.  

"During this unprecedented time, we are prioritizing the safety of our fans, our players, and the entire Georgia Tech community."

Stansbury went on to describe the logic and methodology used to determine which games to keep, and which ones to cancel.  

"We looked strategically at the schedule, and used advanced machine learning models running on our supercomputers to precisely predict the crowd size for each game.  Then we used those predicted attendance numbers and a recently constructed digital twin of Bobby Dodd Stadium, to see whether or not the fans could be seated at a safe social distance of six feet.  For these three games, that won't be a problem."  

When reporters noted that the cancelled games all happened to be against opponents with a higher ESPN Football Power Index, Stansbury paused, took a drink of water, and it accidentally "went down the wrong pipe."  He began coughing loudly into his elbow to clear his throat, and by the time he was done, there were no reporters left in the room to hear his answer.

Some have expressed concern that this decision will negatively impact the student athletes.  In order to address this, GT Athletics is looking at the option of moving their cancelled games to an "online format" where players from both teams login to a Zoom meeting and share their screens while playing Madden NFL 19. The winner is the player who is most effective at properly muting and un-muting their video when doing touchdown dances.

Others are worried that the classic college football rivalry between UGA and Georgia Tech will begin to fade, especially since the two major universities have been increasingly collaborating on science and engineering projects related to the COVID-19 outbreak.  There is further evidence of this, as some GT students, when asked "What's the Good Word" are not replying with the traditional response of "To Hell With Georgia" but instead are saying things like "I got a good night's sleep last night."